


Love, The Sweetest Ache

by PrinceofFlowers



Category: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: M/M, Pining, Unrequited, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 09:44:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17506247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceofFlowers/pseuds/PrinceofFlowers
Summary: Joshua Graham is ass-over-teakettle for the Courier.The Courier doesn’t feel the same way.Joshua internally angsts about it.





	Love, The Sweetest Ache

**Author's Note:**

> Fucking RIP Joshua Graham get rekt.
> 
> I wrote this because I’m kinda salty that there isn’t enough fics where Graham Cracker is the unrequited one who gets to cry about how the Courier doesn’t love him like that.
> 
> Also because like. Joshua Graham doesn’t actually deserve to be loved, tbh, cause he co-founded the fuckin Legion. 
> 
>  
> 
> I love him, but I hate him, but I love him a little bit. So I write this thing, because I thrive on his tears.

He didn’t expect anyone besides his fellow New Canaanites to ever love him.

He expected it, and understood it.

He knew that he wasn’t worthy of the love and acceptance of others; not after all he had done, but even so-

He still felt an ache deep in his chest, down to his very bones.

An ache that he felt beneath the constant searing pain of his burns.

An ache in his very soul.

Where there was once a fire which blazed and burned red hot, whenever he thought of the Courier-not his Courier, just the Courier.

Whenever he thought of him, and how he would never be his, those flames would rise higher, only to die down, leaving nothing left but an emptiness that could never be filled.

He had it bad- he loved that man more than he’d ever loved anyone.

And oh, God forgive him, he wanted him more than anyone or anything he had ever wanted before.

Yet, he would never return his feelings.

He was gentle, and kind, and soothed the flames that burned within Joshua Graham’s heart, and although he gave freely of his touches, his affection, there was always a noticeable distance.

The kind that spoke in ways that words could not.

This was not a man who reciprocated any romantic feelings Joshua had for him.

No, they were just friends.

Joshua could content himself with that, in a way.

He could look upon how fortunate he was, to still have his smile in his life, to be allowed to hug, to talk, to spend time with him.

It was more than he deserved, more than what he had ever expected.

It should be enough.

But it never felt like it.

For as soon as he would remember that he wasn’t his, and that he would never be his, that ache would swallow him up once more.

Part of Joshua wished he had never loved at all, but in the moments when he was alone with him, hearing his voice, feeling the warmth of his body near, that regret would fade away, replaced by the overwhelming comfort and haze of contentment that would fill him up to bursting as he basked in his presence.

Joshua Graham loved him, and loved being with him, but he would never truly be with him.

Because he would never be his, and he never would be.

**Author's Note:**

> NO PROOFREADING WE DIE LIKE MEN


End file.
